Handling Rejection (When Rejection Is the Job)

As I continue navigating life after graduation, I’ve been thinking a lot about rejection — something no one ever really teaches you how to handle, especially in the arts.

Whether it’s auditions, interviews, or that one grant application I was sure was going to be my big break, rejection has become a recurring guest star in my story. It’s uncomfortable, exhausting, and honestly, just not fun.

But here’s the thing: rejection is part of the process. It’s baked into this career. So instead of pretending it doesn’t exist, I’m learning how to face it head-on — with grace, honesty, and maybe a Cookout milkshake.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far.

It’s Okay to Feel It

I’ll be honest — I am not a “feel your feelings” type of person by nature. I tend to bottle things up and distract myself until I crash and burn. But over time, I’ve learned the importance of letting myself feel everything — the good and the bad.

So when I get rejected from a project I really wanted, I don’t push it away anymore. I let myself sit with it. I might cry, rant to my mom, and, yes, grab a Cookout milkshake on the way home. (My coping mechanisms are delicious and slightly dramatic.)

What I’ve realized is that allowing myself to feel disappointment doesn’t make me weak — it makes me human. Ignoring it just delays the healing.

So go ahead and feel it. Cry. Journal. Watch your favorite comfort show. Eat that mint chocolate chip ice cream. Then, when you’re ready, pick yourself back up and move forward. The show always goes on.

It’s Not You — It’s Them (Usually)

Here’s one of the hardest truths I’ve learned: rejection in the arts is rarely personal.

Now that I’ve been on the other side of the audition table as a director, I can say this with full confidence — most of the time, you did absolutely nothing wrong.

There have been auditions where I’ve seen three or four actors who were all amazing — genuinely talented, prepared, and kind. But sometimes, they just weren’t right for that specific role or production. Maybe their energy didn’t fit the tone. Maybe their dynamic didn’t align with the rest of the cast. It’s never about worth or ability — it’s about puzzle pieces fitting together.

So if you’re someone who replays every audition in your head (been there), please know: it’s not that you weren’t good enough. It’s just that this one wasn’t your piece of the puzzle.

And that’s okay. Your piece will fit somewhere — probably somewhere even better than you imagined.

Rejection Isn’t the End — It’s the Training Montage

Every “no” teaches you something.

It might teach you about your craft, your preparation process, or your resilience. Each rejection adds to your story, like one of those dramatic movie montages — you working late, rewriting your monologue, drinking too much coffee (or in my case, hot chocolate), and still showing up the next day.

When I get rejected, I try to ask myself:

• What did I learn from this?

• How can I improve next time?

• Did I at least make someone laugh during the audition?

If the answer to that last one is yes, I count it as a small victory.

Rejection refines you. It makes you stronger, more empathetic, and more intentional about your art.

Don’t Let the “No” Steal Your “Why”

Rejection can make you forget why you started in the first place.

When I get caught up in the constant cycle of applying, auditioning, and waiting, I try to remember that middle school version of me who fell in love with theatre watching pro-shots and old movie musicals. That spark — the one that said, “This is where I belong” — is still there, even when things don’t go my way.

So, do the things that bring you joy. Watch a show just because you love it. Read a play that makes you laugh. Collaborate with friends. Make something silly and weird just because it makes you happy.

The “no’s” can’t take away your “why” — unless you let them.

Final Thoughts

Rejection is one of the hardest parts of pursuing a career in the arts, and it never really gets easier. But we do get better at handling it.

If you take anything from this post, let it be this: rejection is temporary. Your passion isn’t.

Keep showing up. Keep learning. Keep creating.

Because one day, that “yes” will come — and when it does, it’ll mean so much more because of every “no” that came before it.

Until then, grab your mint chocolate chip ice cream, take a deep breath, and remember:

Even when the world says “no,” your art can still say “yes.”

Until next time, here’s a quote from the brilliant Samuel Beckett:

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett

Have you ever faced rejection in your artistic journey? Whether it was an audition, an application, or just one of those moments that didn’t go as planned, I’d love to hear how you handled it. Share your story in the comments below — let’s remind each other that none of us are alone in this.